This Year's Oscars Swag Bag Is Overflowing With Stupidly Expensive And Luxury Gifts

Every year, the Academy Awards drip with more opulence than a crystal chandelier in the home of a Russian oligarch. As the biggest names in the entertainment industry waltz down the red carpet in designer gowns and sharp suits, the whole world watches on, wondering what it must be like to live a life of such luxury.

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But whilst you may think most A-listers are there simply to collect their awards and bask in the glory of their own excellence, you're wrong. The real reason they dress up in diamond-encrusted dresses and stiff shirts is to pick up a goody bag.

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Of course, the goody bag at the Oscars isn't just a plastic sleeve containing a slice of cake and some crayons. No, just like the ceremony itself, the goody bag is overflowing with extravagance.

You may question how this can be, given that the #MeToo movement has subdued the pageantry at such events. Surely a swag bag bursting with priceless gifts is slightly perverse given the current climate in the world of entertainment? Apparently not.

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This year those in attendance at the Oscars are expected to be treated to $100,000 worth of gifts in their grab bag.

This reportedly includes lavish free trips to exclusive destinations such as Tanzania, Hawaii and Greece, complimentary dental procedures, free sessions with a celebrity trainer, a diamond necklace, a 24K gold facial, locally grown oranges, a Jarritos soda and, more bizarrely, an "18-minute phobia-relief session".

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In addition, stars will also be given $10,000 to donate to any animal charity of their choosing, as well as exclusive treats for their own pets - who are not invited to the actual event itself.

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If you thought it ended there, you're mistaken. In addition to the goody bag, celebrities are treated to "gift suites" at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles. Here, they are tempted by additional freebies such as "gluten-free" chocolate vodka, vacations to Spain, a private jet trip in California and a catered, private Italian dinner for 16 people.

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Of course, it's only the biggest names that'll have these treats extended to them. So if your surname happens to be Clooney, Pitt or DiCaprio, you're set to be spoiled.

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In the past the Oscars have come under fire for the contents of their swag bags, with previous freebies causing a great deal of controversy. In 2016, A-listers were given a $1,900 'Vampire breast lift' which many deemed "less-than-wholesome." The same year a $250 vibrator was also dished out to guests, raising some eyebrows.

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More conventional gifts in the past have included a free Audi for the year, a 10-day all expenses paid trip to Israel (thought to be worth around $55,000), a private 15-day walking tour of Japan (valued at $54,000) and a 14-carat gold and diamond bracelet.

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It's almost as if these celebrities aren't rich within their own right. Who'd have thought that with net-worths in the multi-millions would need such freebies? In fact, if they find that they have no use for anything, I am sure I can find a way to enjoy them!