Woman Brilliantly Explains Why Moms Are So Stressed Out In Poignant Facebook Post
Moms have it hard - and then some! For nine months, they carry a baby in their womb; a process which, though wonderful in its own right, comes with countless downsides - morning sickness, anxiety, and back pain to name but a few.
Pregnancy doesn't end with birth, either. In the immediate aftermath, women not only have a new baby to bond with and the stress that entails, but a postpartum and body and mind, which can and often do suffer from complications.
This, unfortunately, isn't well understood by the rest of society.
So, to shed light on exactly why so many moms are stressed out, one took to Facebook to explain why in a poignant post:
She begins by explaining that there's insurmountable pressure on moms from day one:
"Society to working moms: Go back to work 6-8 weeks after having the baby," wrote Sarah Buckley Friedberg. "The baby who you spent 9-10 months growing inside of your body. Go back to work before you have finished healing or have had time to bond with your baby. Keep your mind on work, and not your tiny, helpless baby who is being watched and cared for by someone other than you. Make sure to break the glass ceiling and excel at your job - you can do anything a man can do! It is your job to show society this! Show the world that women can do it all. Rise to the top of your career."
There's also a lot of specific pressure which can lead mom's to feel like failures if they don't do certain things. Take breastfeeding for example, while its benefits are well known, not every woman can do it, and sometimes those who do suffer complications which can make it impossible to continue.
"Also breastfeed for at least a year," she explained. "Take 2-3 pumping breaks a day at work, but don't let it throw you off your game or let you lose your focus."
Then there's the issue of baby weight, getting enough sleep, looking after a family and yourself.
She continued: "Also, lose that baby weight and get back in shape, as quickly and as gracefully as possible. Make sure to get eight hours of sleep a night so you can work out, work, and care for your family. But also get up at 5 a.m. to workout, unless you want to do it after your kids go to bed."
"Maintain a clean, Pinterest worthy house. Take the Christmas lights down. Recycle. Be Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the birthday planner, the poop doula (seriously when will this end), the finder of lost things, the moderator of fights. Be fun. Be firm. Read books. Have dance parties," she said. "Maintain the schedule for the entire family. Birthday parties coming up? Make sure to have presents!"
Clearly, moms are expected to do so much - and this pressure can feel greater for those who chose to stay at home for whatever reason.
"Ensure the kids are learning to swim, play an instrument, read, ride a bike, be a good human being, eat vegetables, wear sunscreen, drink enough water, say please and thank you. Don't forget they need to dress as their favourite book character on Monday, and wear something yellow on Thursday. Oh, it's totally your call but most parents come in on their birthday and read to the entire class. In case nobody told you, if you have more than one kid you will need to buy new shoes approximately every other day. See also: winter coats, shorts, pants that aren't 4 inches too short. There will never be matching socks or gloves for any member of the family, ever again."
And even if you're superhuman enough to nail all of the above, if still don't go above and beyond for your kids in various other departments, you're probably still going to be left feeling inadequate.
"Kids need lots of doctor appointments. Monthly as babies. Every time they are sick. Specialist appointments, especially if any of them have extra needs," Friedberg wrote. "At least two school conferences a year. IEP meetings, if applicable. Parents night. Back-to-school night . . . Most parents are volunteering at least once during the year, would you like to come make a craft with the kids? It will only be an hour or two of your time. Sorry, you are now out of holiday time because you used it all for time taking your kids to appointments or when your childcare is unavailable. You should go on holidays though. It's good to relax and unwind from work. Makes you a better employee."
Then there's the issue of relationships...
"Date your spouse! It's important to keep your relationship alive and fresh," she said. "Try to go out 1-2 times a month. Good, kid-free time. Hire a babysitter, they charge 22-plus dollars an hour in your area so make sure to take out an extra mortgage and/or work another job to be able to afford this."
Even when you take away the pressure of being a mom, you're still expected to be adulting like a pro. Get in that all-important me time and make sure you've got a bangin' social circle around you for when your kids eventually fly the nest.
"Make sure to have friends. Social time is SO important. Surely, there is an hour or two left in the week after all of the working, appointments, exercising, cooking, scheduling, cleaning, imparting lifelong morals and learning on the kids, the usual. Maybe go out after the kids are down for a glass of wine and a bite to eat."
But don't forget, this special time doesn't last forever, so enjoy it while you can!
"Get off your phone, turn off the TV, and enjoy your life," she wrote. "Enjoy your kids. THESE ARE THE GOOD TIMES make sure to love every minute of life because before you know it all of this will be in the past."
Hashtag endless eyeroll.
All that really matters - regardless of how much or little you do - is that you do your best by your kids.