Parents Beware: Netflix Is Reportedly Releasing A 'Baby Shark' TV Series
A prerequisite for being a children's songwriter is knowing how to write simultaneously catchy and infuriating songs. Catchy so that they appeal to children and are therefore easier to remember and infuriating, well, because where's the fun in writing kids' songs if you don't use it as an opportunity to drive their parents insane at the same time too?
Take Spongebob Squarepants, for example - it's got a catchy opening tune, which not only tells kids a fair about the key qualities of a sponge ("absorbent" and "porous") but is suitably repetitive enough to drive grown-ups mad.
And these are qualities which are shared by the viral sensation that is 'Baby Shark'.
Brainchild of PinkFong, an educational entertainment company in South Korea, it is just 90 seconds long (which feels like 90 minutes if you happen to be an adult), and features children shouting out the various names of a shark family like so: "Mommy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo / Daddy shark, doo doo doo doo doo doo / Grandma shark doo doo doo doo doo doo." Yeah... it's that annoying.
Despite being so incredibly simple, as I've pointed out, it's got the two key ingredients which make a successful children's song, and on YouTube alone, 'Baby Shark' has a whopping 2,237,000,000 views and counting. Even if you're lucky enough to have never witnessed the monstrosity for yourself, I can almost guarantee you've heard it.
But on the off chance that you haven't and want to make your ears bleed, here it is:
Now, to capitalize on the popularity of 'Baby Shark', PinkFong is planning to release it as a TV show to Netflix, so, to any parents reading, you have my sincere condolences.
According to Bloomberg, PinkFong is "planning to release short videos via Netflix Inc., a cartoon series and a musical in North America this year, one of the company's founders said in an interview this week."
Explaining the popularity of the song, Seungkyu Lee, the chief financial officer at SmartStudy, the owner of PinkFong, said, "We've added the 'K-pop factor' into our songs, such as very trendy beats and upbeat rhythms. If you've ever heard of 'Baby Shark', you might feel the importance of community. In a group, we should walk or swim together."
Horrifyingly, 'Baby Shark' dog costumes are now a thing as a result:
And while most adults quite understandably loathe the song, there are some, presumably, with the intent of using its repetitiveness to their advantage, have gone as far as to create a 'Baby Shark' ab workout. Seriously.
To make matters worse (or better, depending on your age), the company is working on content for slightly older children about penguins. Perhaps a song about waddling? I dread to think - either way, I'm willing to bet my right arm that it will be catchy.
While Netflix has yet to comment on the claim, one thing's for sure, I think that everyone over the age of four can concur with Jimmy Kimmel when he said on his talk show "whoever is responsible for it should be locked in prison for the rest of their lives, and then when they die their bodies should be fed to the very sharks they sang about."