10 People You're Guaranteed To Hate After Having A Baby
Being a parent changes your life, and by extension, your relationships with other people forever. Gone are the days when your biggest concern was picking the perfect outfit for a night out, now, you'll be glad to simply go out for a quiet meal with your other half while a babysitter takes care of your little monster for a few hours. And because parents have so much stress to contend with, especially when their children are young, they inevitably grow to hate a small group of people.
There is, of course, the overbearing mother-in-law who can't help but tell you how to raise your kid, but there's also a few others that you wouldn't expect. In short, childless people - and even those who are well-intentioned - can get on parents' nerves as they do their best to raise their baby out of diapers and into a semi-independent, potty trained human.
So, without further ado, here's 10 people you're inevitably going to hate the moment you become a parent...
1. Unhelpful helpers
While scenes like the one detailed above would happen in an ideal world, in reality, they rarely do. When a woman's in her third trimester, she's often flooded with offers of "help" from family members which, when push comes to shove, turn out to be nothing more than their way of asking if they can come over and fawn over the new baby instead of actually, y'know, helping.
2. Visitors who act like they're on vacation
These are basically the evil cousins of the unhelpful helpers - AKA, the sister who lives out of town but insists on visiting you a few weeks after you've given birth under the pretense of helping you out, when, in reality, she was just looking for an excuse to have a holiday and expects you to be running after her as she does literally nothing to help with your baby.
3. Friends who show up late
When you're a new parent, your time is even more precious than ever before. If you've managed to get a few hours off parenting duty, the last thing you want to happen is your child-free friends to turn up late and waste some of your precious time.
4. The person who brings cake
At first, you're not going to hate the person who brings cake to your house postpartum because cake is cake. But when you look down at the extra baby weight you've gained, you'll slowly but surely begin to hate them for putting temptation in your path.
5. Whoever created WebMD
Ah, health anxiety. It's one of the most debilitating things in the world, especially when Dr. Google is never more than a few clicks away, and especially when you're doing everything in your power to be a good parent. When your baby is crying or has a suspicious looking rash or bruise, it can be almost impossible to resist the urge to look it up. Hate. Hate. Hate!
6. Selfish sick people
It's no secret that coming into contact with even the most innocuous of viruses can be deadly for a young child, which is why, as a parent, you won't be able to help but hate sick people who dare to come within 10 feet of your little bundle of joy. If this is the case, at least take comfort in the knowledge that exposure to germs can help to build up a child's immune system.
7. The overbearing mother/mother-in-law
It doesn't matter what you do, as far as your mom and most likely your mother-in-law are concerned, you're doing it wrong. This can lead to an incredible amount of frustration and hatred as you try your best to give your baby the best possible start in life.
8. Your partner who still sleeps soundly
Mother's are said to have a special instinct; when their baby needs them, no matter the time, they will wake up in an instant and attend to them. The same, however, can't be said for partners who didn't actually give birth to the child, and even if they have the best of intentions when it comes to midnight diaper changes, chances are that they will sleep through their baby's cries.
9. Pregnant you
Yup, postpartum life is so difficult that you will actually end up hating yourself. Not because you aren't trying your best with your baby, but because you didn't do enough Kegels - AKA the main focus of your pre-natal exercise classes. While it might have seemed like an innocent enough decision at the time, the moment you pee yourself postpartum, you immediately regret it.
10. The UPS guy ringing the doorbell
There are few things worse than trying to change a diaper and having your doorbell ring. Actually, I take that back. Do you know what's worse? When your little angel finally falls asleep after crying for hours and gets woken up by it. Damn you, UPS guy!
So, if there are any moms-to-be reading, this list has probably given you a good idea of what you're in for. And if you're already a mom like me, well, I think you'll agree that it's a little bit too relatable. Us parents really are heroes in our own right!
... Even if we do occasionally snap. We're under a lot of pressure, okay?