21 Playgrounds You Would Never Want To Let Your Kid Loose In
When you're a kid, there are few things more enjoyable than going to a playpark. It's a chance to have fun and, if you're lucky, make some new friends. And, let's face it, the bigger a playpark is, the better! No one wants to spend all day on a swing. I was lucky enough to live near a park with a giant slide, jungle gyms, swings, and a roundabout when I was younger, and it provided me with hours of fun. It was also a great way for my parents to entertain me when money was tight.
And speaking of parents, it turns out that there's a lot of playgrounds out there with, intentional or not, some seriously adult designs that would thankfully go over most kid's heads. From phallus and vagina shaped slides to terrifying models of animals and characters, the design fails in certain playparks are a testament to the fact that pretty much anyone can make it as a designer - if, of course, they're willing to spend their entire careers making questionable looking playparks.
So, without further ado, here are 21 playgrounds you'd never want to let your kid loose in...
1. I don't think many pirate ships actually look like this...
At least it's not the first time these kids have been inside a vagina.
Yeah... I don't think I'd let my kids step inside that hole, regardless of how cute the pokémon attached to it is.
3. I have never seen a sadder looking train.
After years of being stomped on by children, Thomas just wanted his mortal coil to end.
4. Crawling through a vagina is one thing, crawling through a penis is another.
The fact that it's pink certainly doesn't help the situation.
You can't even call this one an accident.
6. The human blow-wait, this is in a playpark?!
How this ended up in a playpark is beyond me.
7. Slides are meant to be fun. This one? Not so much.
Half the kids who use it end up in the emergency room.
We can only assume that this zebra once had a head and this was meant to be a prank.
9. "Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow..."
Actually, forget what David Bowie said, he's grown up to be a zombie.
10. This is not a slide for little boys.
Or girls, for that matter.
11. Spiderman doesn't look like he wants children inside him...
There shouldn't be such a big queue outside a blow-up slide that looks like that.
12. If you want your kid to end up injured, send them here.
This isn't so much a design fail but a placement fail.
13. A very naughty chef.
The fact that his arms are beckoning kids inside makes it that little bit creepier.
14. If you're a super tall kid who wants to learn braille, this is the playpark for you.
At least this design fail is well-intentioned.
15. I think this elephant needs to go to the vet.
Even the most innocent of kids would be able to tell what's wrong with this slide.
16. A semi-questionable climbing wall...
Or, if we are being totally honest, phallus.
17. No kid would ever watch The Simpsons after seeing this.
I'm not sure what's worse, their facial expressions or the fact that Maggie's lost an arm.
18. "Mom, can I ride spiderman?!"
"No, son, I think we'll give that one a miss."
This looks like something from a Tim Burton movie.
20. This one's just unfortunate.
Someone pump some air into that sword and make that bouncy castle look less creepy.
Spongehorse?! I reckon this dog lost his head and this was the only replacement around.
So, if you're an aspiring designer of children's playparks, please, do not follow the lead of these idiots. Create something happy, something that doesn't look hilariously inappropriate, and help kids make memories they'll treasure for years to come.